Top-ten reasons for Mourinho leaving Chelsea

And just as I am starting to read football news again, a bomb-shell falls in the world of football news: José Mourinho, undoubtedly one of the best but also controversial coaches in the world, is leaving Chelsea, whom he made double Champions after almost 50 years, FA cup winners and League Cup winners. There has been talk of disagreements between José Mourinho and Chelsea-owner Abramovich, and disappointment at the late performance of the team. However, I have my top-10 reasons for Mourinho leaving Chelsea.

10. “Abramovich never lets me try out his cool mini-sub”

9. José Mourinho still refused to be re-dubbed Josef Mourinovitch…

8. His text-messaging bill was swallowing up his entire salary.

7. “I can always retire to a more quiet life of becoming coach of a national team like the Portuguese.”

6. “I want another striker or I will tell my Mommy…!!!!”

5. “Why does Princess Diana still get all the attention!?”

4. There are plenty of billionaires buying second-rate teams that Mourinho may make champions with just buying players and no coaching.

3. Portuguese haircuts just never caught on in London.

2. It was lonely for him to be the only super-star in the club.

1. God needed a coach for his team, and Mourinho was the most able candidate.